I haven’t updated about Gary and Melinda because, frankly, I was worried about them. They had such a busy first two days. They worked so hard to make their little nest. By the end of the second day it looked like this:
Ooooh look at all the progress
And then Day Three:
It is amazing what thumbless, armless birds can do in one day
But then day 4:
Don’t get me wrong. They didn’t fly the coop. Melinda still sat on it all day long. But now she just stares at me blankly.
Look at those beady, little soul-less eyes.
At first I thought that Gary and Melinda must be, er, special little morning doves. They just didn’t really “get” that a nest was supposed to have, like, walls. And a bottom. Perhaps they came to live here because of our resident social worker.
My opinion changed, however, when I started seeing more of this:
"Uh, If you need me, I'll be at Fowl Shots"
Look at Melinda’s dejection. Look at Gary’s defeated birdy shoulders and cold disregard for his bride’s feelings. They can’t even look at each other anymore.
They have this Angela’s Ashes situation going on. Gary is gone a lot. Melinda weeps. And you know why that is? Why are they settling for sparse uncomfortable sticks, when their nest should be lined with the softest of goose down and dryer lint?
It’s the economy, folks. The Economy.
I imagine a possible conversation goes something like this:
Gary: [Arrives to the nest, empty-beaked.] Where’s dinner?
Melinda: How can I make dinner when I am so busy putting this nest together. Not that we have very many sticks to make it with…
G: That’s so typical, Melinda. You know I try! But the–
M: “Yeah, yeah, Gary. I always have a finely arranged pile of twigs everytime you come back! And all I hear about is how the Robin account isn’t bringing in enough twigs!”
G: “What? You think twigs grow on trees? Someone’s got to work for them!”
M: “And you never even notice me anymore! You’re gone so much, we only communicate through Tweets!
Aaaaaand so on.
They presumably fight so often that they don’t have time to finish the nest. It is a little sad, but then that is modern life.
However, for all of their fights they are quick to make up:
"Come on, let's never flight again"
Look at those lovebirds. Cuddling.
Gary and Melinda teach us a valuable lesson: the thing about love is that sometimes you have to wing it.
Stay tuned for next time when Melinda gets a part-time job and Gary buys a new set of wrenches.